Puns

Hey Alexa, tell me a pun…

Below are some puns that have brightened my day, hope they brighten yours. I was adding some day-by-day but Alexa has started repeating herself. I’ll add a new post when I find a new source.

  • What can one parrot do?
    • Not as much as toucan!
  • What did the panther say at the poker party?
    • I’d be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
  • Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
    • They each got six months.
  • Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
    • They’re shellfish!

  • What did one hat say to the other?
    • You stay here, I’ll go on a head.
  • Why did the wizard get a job as a cook?
    • Because he was good at saucery.
  • What do you call a pair of banana peels on the floor?
    • Slippers.
  • What do you call a pile of banana peels?
    • A slippery slope.
  • Did you hear the one about the man who failed to climb a hill without a watch?
    • He had neither the time nor the inclination.
  • What did the ping pong ball say to the shuttlecock?
    • Nice skirt!
  • Last week I tried out ten new puns to see if they’d make people laugh.
    • But no pen in ten did.
  • Why can’t you tell a kleptomaniac a joke?
    • Because they always take things, literally.
  • I lost my voice once.
    • I couldn’t tell you how annoying that was.
  • Don’t even get me started on Velcro.
    • What a rip-off!
  • I’m not a big fan of nesting dolls.
    • They’re so full of themselves.
  • They say you’ll never go hungry at the beach-
    • because of the sand, which is everywhere
  • Why do bananas drive muscle cars?
    • They love to peel out!
  • Why was the sheep so tired?
    • He had a very bah ah ah ah ah ahd dream
  • How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
    • He gave her a ring
  • Why was the broom late?
    • It overswept
  • When is a door not a door?
    • When it’s ajar
  • I took the shell off my racing snail to make him faster
    • But now he’s more sluggish
  • What do you call a grizzly with no teeth?
    • A gummy bear!
  • What cheese goes around a castle?
    • Moats-a-rella

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